after it all i’m back to square one. I don’t feel like i’ve changed much from who i’ve been. I’m still that person who can be bothered by a tutorial question that has an answer I don’t agree with. I’m still that perfectionist who kills himself over not preparing for a presentation(and wings it). But no matter what, everything falls into place.
i’m lucky . i’m fortunate.
But i just don’t appreciate stuff. not the things i have. All i see, is the future. What could be, and what could be better. I see flaws I see pending improvements. But I don’t see me , nor do i see the people around me.
I don’t like sleeping so “early” but its hard to get some privacy in hall. Its still no excuse .
I’ve always been troubled. Always worrying about every little detail. Then i realised that people have too many details and i’ll be worrying about everyone. Everyone but myself.
here I am, alone again. Here I am, again jaded by life, again not seeing the brighter side.
But is it that bad? I understood everything in my tutorial for once. NEver mind that a friend asked if there’s anything wrong. Never mind that he noticed that I lacked something- my smile. Never mind all that.
I don’t mind giving up on looking for happiness. I get things done. I’m on the ball.
But i’m not happy. I thought finding someone was the key, but now i’ve found someone who doesn’t like me back. So forget about all that, forget about all the things to come, i don’t want it anymore. I’m tired of looking.
