I actually took 5 hours to do a simple informal lab report. PREPOSTEROUS TIMING!! but well, in between i was surfing you tube, playing facebook games and everything but the report haha… it felt so much different from doing the econometrics project. Yet the result is the same- 10 minutes to 4am and i’m still banging away on my keyboard at 50 words per minute or more.
But i’m calmer. I’m more relaxed. And i’m happy.
Despite my busted right knee from monday’s fall. Worries aside, tonight, she has left me.
Well ok, i can’t say that yet. I still think of that someone, but now its not every day anymore. Its more like… how you’d think of an old friend. You’d wonder how they’re doing, what they’re thinking …. but you don’t wonder what it would be like if you were with them right now, sipping milk/coffee in your arms and flipping notes while sharing music.
I must admit, i’ve been…. tortured some nights, by that thought. That “what if?” question. But I realised I’ve more things to think of. Maybe its the reason why i lost sleep last week. Not due to project submissions, but more of the sense that I need someone to be there for me NOW(then, when i was stressed out) and i thought of her. But now, i’ve more(or less actually!) things to concentrate on.
Well, at least thats what i tell myself now. I’ve not seen her in 3 weeks. It might happen again if i see her again. But then I hark back to what my sunday study buddy shared with me.
“When so many people can make your expectations, you start to compare whats BAD and pick the least “bad” one.”
me: “so you ask yourself ‘can i live with that?’ instead of ‘do i want that?’ ?! ”
“HAHA ya! something like that lah! “
So sometimes its not that people don’t live up to your expectations or vice versa, they just can’t live with some irritating trait you have. Its no biggie. Really.
but of course, she also believes that you have to WORK at true love coz no one’s perfect and that love at first sight is really very shallow, so yeah, pass the salt after you’re done with it.
